Time is our only inventory; losing time means losing money.
SHIT IN PUBLIC
Go on, do it. Take a shit in public. You know you’ve always wanted to be free.
How many times have you put up with your boss and his negative sense of humor? Lifeless teenager clerks preventing you from returning an item you just fucking bought? Hipsters and airheads who frown when you confess your life’s passion?
Stop that nonsense already. Be yourself.
Do you know how much confidence you need to cowplop in public? I’ll bet you do.
That time your witch-faced mother-in-law sniped at you from across the dinner table and you caught the bullet in front of everyone. That time your boss made fun of your work ethic in front of the human resources manager and you asked him very calmly in front of the human resources manager if he wanted to rethink that. That time you finally decided to stop thinking about writing and actually started to write. And actually started to call yourself a writer in public.
If you can shit in public, you won’t give a shit about anyone.
The Sun King of France understands me. He crapped while people watched. He even charged some of them for the pleasure. He held his morning meetings on the pot, for Christ’s sake.
His foreign advisor would say to him, “Majesté, Leopold and Charles are after you! William is not far behind! We must prepare for war!”
His response? The sound of last night’s pâté swan-diving into Lake Pooper.
Louis XIV was free. Do you think he caved later on in the day when some diplomat or aristocrat tried to get him to eat their shit? Fuck no. Of course he didn’t. He could shit in public. And he practiced every day.
We should practice being ourselves every day. We should openly confess our passion. To hell with judgmental hipsters and airheads. Chances are they’re jealous because they’re creatively constipated. They can only pursue their passions in private. They have to tuck their butts up under their guts and hold them with their hands while rushing down seven flights of stairs to the basement of their office building so they can push with nobody around to hear.
Next time your uncle says something casually racist, tell him he’s an idiot from the past. Next time your coworker says she’s out to prove by any means that all men cheat on their wives, call her a trifling bitch, and tell her she can’t ever come over to your house because you’d have to watch her around your man.
And next time you have the opportunity to be yourself — which is more often than not a version of yourself you hope to become over time through practice — then do it. Be yourself.
Shit in public.